Childlike Expectancy

to gain an understanding for this blog, please start at the first entry January 19th 2011

Day after day I would open up my computer first thing. I could hardly wait to see who said what to me and I felt childlike and expectant. I felt petulant and afraid. I felt freedom arise and then I lapsed into clingy confusion.

A woman who is no longer in my circle of community on this art site took me in and showed me the ropes. She told me I was wonderful and she seemed to read my mind. She liked what I told her about her art and about herself. I do believe I had my first Redbubble crush with her. It did not take long however to feel her drifting away from me and letting me go. This was to be my first (heARTfelt) Bubble to burst. This was not to be the last, men were next! But through all of the pain I can tell you now; I have a circle of woman friends that continue to extend warmth and support in my life to this day. I communicate by phone and by mail. Some almost daily and some a bit beyond that. This has been one of the most amazing developments since I started my journey around art and community.

I was excelling in my use of the simple program on my Mac for photos and I was itching to do some of the amazing things I saw others do with a program called Photoshop. But Oh my goodness that price! I heard if you were a student you could get this program at a fraction of the price. I thought I would love to take a Photoshop class. I looked up classes in my local Junior College and found an extension class in my own town of Half Moon Bay. This meant I would not have commute and that meant I could stay close to home and not be gone for long. Ahhhh this felt so good. The class was Illustrator but I thought that a good start since the college sold the programs together as one application. Wow, I saw myself flying towards so many new possibilities. I saw my penchant for birthing ideas like a chicken laid eggs finally having an arena to shine in. What was happening to me?

What was happening to me was the feeling I was walking straight into my life…

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About linaji

I am having a good time with life now that I pay attention to how I feel. If I don't feel so good I look to what I am thinking and from there I change everything.
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5 Responses to Childlike Expectancy

  1. Lisa says:

    I am glad I’m holding your hand because there is no place I’d rather be. Again, you lift me high with your truth, courage and sheer beauty.

    wow xoxoxoxox

  2. Dearest heart – I am sooooooo glad to be a part of that circle and to feel your heart and great spirit all the time when I feel alone. You are absolute light and joy and our friendship is beyond precious to me. Much love, darling friend. xoxox

  3. avalyn says:

    helloooo…so happy you linked me in oh Gorgeous one…..what a celebrated community filled with love we are joined in…..blessings to you XX

    • Idalia says:

      la foto está chula, pero una con el gorro sería genial..cuidado con la camiseta del nuestros amores, o no te has fijado en el logo de un19#f&eic1;?estoy convencido que es para abrir hueco a un futuro patrocinador, como para que nos vayamos acostumbrando a ver letras…jose javier

  4. liesbeth says:

    must have been such a joyous moment.. 😉

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