I’ve Been Gone; a conversation with my body

There is so much today,
Getting up with a body that cooperates
Deep breath , deep forgiveness

My Body:

We forgive you…

All those years
any excuse to be gone…

you found them.

darkness, like a blade of winter
severed your heart from knowing us
alignment seemed cockeyed and impossible

Cell upon cell of loneliness
Circulating mass of feelings gone awry
Gone missing by way of

-contrast that slanders trust,
-deep misgivings
_birthed on a sliding rock
_no moss, rolling down

it seemed there be no relief no funding for safety
no place you could call your own.

Outside seemed brighter
more un-feeling (ummm that felt so yummy, yes?)

Until those same feelings sent you warning signs

feelings told you
+this can’t last,
+you cannot forget your home,
+you cannot forget your first love
……..Ever… not ever

echos in wild desert storms
drifting down crevice spitting sand

we knew this
so we waited,

you see we have feelings too;
we felt a turning of our nature from you
we felt betrayed, slighted
and
muted-muted-muted…

MUTATION

(Could be a choice we thought)

we know what happened,
we know how long eternity can be
so we waited,
we never left you
dissention did occur
meetings were had

Signals were sent

Pain
Pain
Pain,

Come home Lina,
Come back to the shelter of love
Close your eyes,
Ahhhh do you feel our lightness?
Our tenacity for truth?
Our pleasure for giving you all you ever
Wanted?

And I say yes I do,

Thank you for waiting,

Thank you for loving me yet.

I am here by the fire of my heart
(I feel your warmth holding me dearly)
flames lick my toes and my smile
Curls up in appreciation.

Cell dancing like tango tears
molecules cut in and whirl me around
and around I go
till the tissue fissures take me to the fireside
again I am pumping with anticipation for
all that I’ve missed
all that I owe
all that I am

I feel whole.

Linaji 2011

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About linaji

I am having a good time with life now that I pay attention to how I feel. If I don't feel so good I look to what I am thinking and from there I change everything.
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2 Responses to I’ve Been Gone; a conversation with my body

  1. Lisa says:

    and I love that you do feel whole,
    what a wonderful poem, I feel like crying, good tears my love
    you inspire me daily
    xoxoxo

    • linaji says:

      How did I miss this my dearest love? Now I feel like crying, I love you so. Yesterday was a mystery kind of day but needed in that I am closer to understanding how to get what I want physically. I heard something yesterday I cannot even remember in whole but it is the notion that once again I just need let go of looking at what I don’t want and start to allow for all of what I do. Stick with the Now and the future of now…
      I hope you are feeling better, as I did not check in. I had a commitment to a few artists on RB and so I did that indeed. Today you are on my mind first up and I am sending you much Love and big hugs.

      xox

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